i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
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Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
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are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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