it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
