Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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