Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
where am i from again
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
