I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
