her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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