I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
