just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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