My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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