I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
