I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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