i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
