ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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