Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
