is your mom at the bar?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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