I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
