He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
