Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
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He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
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I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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