I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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