Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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