She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
