i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.