Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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