Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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