so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
