Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
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his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
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Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize