Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
