I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
