Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
