Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
