After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
