What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
