I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
