just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
