if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
