You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
