Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Mom said you looked used
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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