Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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