Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she looked like the before picture.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
