# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
This girl is more easily done than said...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
