just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
