He asked me if I "almost moaned"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
