Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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