literally had 100 drinks last night.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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