Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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