Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
