we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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