Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
