i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Randomize
