Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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