You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
