i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
