I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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