She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Can you bring me the toilet please
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
