Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
