so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
