my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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