two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize