So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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