Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
my being single is dangerous.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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