Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
