Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize