He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
