??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
