Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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