So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
wat bout pragnant strippers??
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
