i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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