she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
